time to go dust off that typewriter in the basement

so the novelty of this whole "job thing" has started to wear off. gee, what a surprise. although day five started off quietly until the background music in my head was jolted by ricky martin shaking his bon bon. yep. some fucker decided to bust out on their latin rhythyms 2006 cd. and i try to ignore it, thinking maybe she will turn it down after a minute or two, but no, she keeps it going all morning. mind you, we have offices, with doors, but does she close her damn door, nope, just goes about her business like we in da club! help. seriously, send help. bomb threat, flood...asbestos?

i just dont get it, how did i end up surrounded by trashy outfits and loud bitches. this really can't be my life. perhaps its time to adopt plan b: developing an addiction to pain killers so i can hide out in rehab for awhile. at least that used to be my plan for escape when life got too intense, not the pills part, but the vacation at the detox center in antigua. imagine it, sitting around in your pajamas all day, people asking you how you feel and the only expectation is that you don't engage in pill popping. and if you never dropped pills in the first place it would be a gigantic vacation. aside from perhaps having to look at rush limbaugh in a bathing suit. or liza manneli or pat o'brien. ok, so maybe it would have a few drawbacks but how can it be any worse than being tormented by salsa music at nine in the morning. cmon, people, are you with me??? thats what i thought. now please sign up below. seriously, look at this place! and here is info lifted from their website:

The spiritual centre of the campus is the meditation gazebo- an open, yet private structure overlooking the bay. Here clients meet for daily group meditation and are encouraged to spend time in the gazebo individually for private reflection.

nice. very nice.

and in case the idea of feigning an addiction in order to hang out in your pajamas all day doesnt lure you in, think about it as a business opportunity. yep. your MEMOIR. it seems to be quite the hot seller these days. i started to read this one called a million little pieces (you know the dude that got bitch slapped by oprah) and his whole story is about how messed up on drugs he used to get and what happens in rehab. and its on the TOP TEN list of best selling books. and then there is the book, smashed, written by some former drunk ass ho who used to get blitzed in college. gee, how original. and it too is a best seller. and then there is that golfer dude who gambled away all his winnings - yep, you guessed it, a best seller.

but thus far i think the pain killer addiction is still an untapped market so act now and think of the big house and fancy car awaiting you upon your return. happy typing!

adios amigos.