juiced up

Chocolate covered espresso beans: because blinking is overrated.

i stole that mantra from some other blogger dork. sucka! but i am trying to decide whether or not to go to law school despite the fact that every lawyer i know says don't do it and the fact that lawyers were portrayed on television by calista flockhart and her dancing baby (you know you watched this crap so shut it).

i guess im a glutton for punishment and enjoy hanging out with persons who have compete for the role of "i've had less sleep than you therefore I am king." but i like being paid for being a bitch so its tempting. and i love wearing pantsuits and carrying a briefcase.

here are some great excerpts from "Disorder in the Court", a book about all the crazy shit that goes on the courtroom.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.